Could you be a foster carer with Hythe House Support?
We find that lots of people who are interested in fostering, and who would make wonderful carers, have all kinds of doubts about whether they would be found suitable and accepted. We hope that if you have questions, some of them will be covered here:
Can I foster:
If I might be too young, or too old?
If I have a baby, or hope to have a baby?
If I have a criminal conviction?
If I have had depression, or take antidepressants?
And some questions about fostering:
Why do children need fostering?
How much training will I have to do?
How involved will my partner have to be?
What support will I get from you?
What checks will you carry out on me during assessment?
Am I allowed to discipline the child?
Will I know anything about the child before they come to stay?
Can I specify the age of the child I look after?
Will I foster children with disabilities?
What happens if things go wrong with the placement or I can’t cope?
Can I have a break from fostering to spend time with my own family?
How long will a child stay with me?
How many children can I foster?
What happens when a child leaves?
Will I have to pay tax and National Insurance?
Will I be paid when I don’t have a child in placement?
Can I take a child on trips and holidays?
Where will the child go to school?
If I already foster, can I transfer to Hythe House Support?
What if I have any other questions?
If I rent my home?
        It doesn’t  matter if you rent or own your home, but in either case you need to have secure  tenure, and you may have to ask your landlord’s permission.  The most important thing is that your home is  a safe and comfortable place, and that you have a spare bedroom for a foster  child.
If I have pets?
        Unless it  is a dog of a breed classified under the Dangerous Dogs act, no pet should be a  problem as long as it is well behaved, and kept and cared for safely.  We have foster carers with dogs (although we  do specify no more than 2), cats, reptiles, caged birds, tortoises…. Pets are  always considered when making a placement of a child or young person for  suitability.  In many cases, pets are a  really positive part of a child’s life.
If I might be too young, or too old?
        To foster  with Hythe House Support you must be at least 21 years of age, but whatever  your age, we are looking for a mature approach and life experience.  We do not stipulate an upper age limit.  Many of our carers are over 50, and their  experience of being parents and/or grandparents is invaluable.  Many carers have thought about fostering for  several years before they decide to go ahead and apply.  
If my home is not very big?
        Foster carers  live in flats and houses, large and small.   As long as your home is suitable and safe, and you have a spare room  available, size is not important.  Each  fostered child will require their own bedroom, unless they are very young  siblings of the same sex.  Some foster  carers have space for one child, other carers foster more than one.
If I have children of my own?
        If you have  a child of your own, we take careful consideration of this in the matching  process, so that the foster child will fit in well with all members of your  family.  This may mean matching children  from a particular age group, or gender.
If I’ve never had children?
        Some carers  have never had children of their own, and this is not essential.  You may have had experience of other people’s  children, or worked with children or young people, and this would be valuable  experience.  In any case, full training  is provided whether you’ve had children or not.
If I have a baby, or hope to have a baby?
        If you are  planning a baby, or have a very young family, this may not be the best time to  begin fostering.  But every situation is  looked at individually, and every fostering family’s situation is different.
If I work?
        Fostering  is a paid job, and you need to have sufficient time and energy to commit to any  child who is placed with you.  This does  not mean that you cannot work at all, in certain circumstances, but you (or  your partner if you have one) need to be available for the child’s needs, for  meetings and for training.   In practice  this usually means that the primary carer does not work outside the home, or  full time.
If I am a single person?
        Some carers  are married, or live with a partner, others are single.  It doesn’t matter – carers in every situation  have lots to offer.
If I am gay or transgendered?
        If you are  gay or transgendered, whether you are single, co-habiting or married, you will  be very welcome as a foster carer.
If I’m a man?
        Men are  underrepresented as foster carers, and we would very much like to hear from you  if you are a man interested in fostering.
If I smoke?
        If you or  your partner smoke, we would not register you to care for children under the  age of five years, but it would not prevent you from fostering.  Some of the young people in foster care will  also smoke, although naturally we would encourage both carers and young people  not to smoke for the good of their health, and would expect smoking not to take  place inside the house.
If I have a criminal conviction?
        It depends  what the conviction is for, and how long ago it was.  Some convictions will obviously bar you from  fostering, such as violent or sexual offences.   It is important that you declare any convictions to us so that we can  explore how they would impact on your application.
If I can’t drive?
        Some carers  do not have a car, and it is by no means essential although undeniably useful  to have access to personal transport, as you will be taking a child to school,  attending meetings regarding the child, or taking them to contact meetings with  their family.
If I have had depression, or take  antidepressants?
        This would  not prevent you from fostering.  Part of  the application process is a medical examination to ascertain that you are fit  and healthy enough to care for a child.   Having a medical condition of any kind is something that needs to be  disclosed, but need not be a problem. 
And some questions about fostering:
What is Hythe House Support?
        We are a  family run fostering agency in Sittingbourne, Kent.  We have been operating since 2003, and before  that, the managing director, her husband and three sons were a fostering family  themselves, having taken care of dozens of children and young people over the  course of more than 20 years.  Because we  are a small agency, all of our staff know all of our foster carers and all of  the children placed with them really well.   Therefore the support and advice we can offer to carers is extremely  personal and relevant.
Why do children need fostering?
        Children  come into care for lots of reasons: sometimes a parent may be ill or in  hospital and unable to care for their child for a period of time; there may  have been a family breakdown or homelessness; a parent may have a problem with  alcohol or drugs, or a child may have been subject to abuse or neglect; or a  child may be at risk of some other harm in their family circumstances. 
Is fostering like adoption?
        Adoption is  a legal process by which a child who is not yours by birth becomes a permanent  part of your family.  Fostering is a  temporary situation, and may be quite short term in nature, although sometimes  a placement lasts for many years until the young person leaves home as an  adult.
How much training will I have to do?
        Training is  very important in fostering with Hythe House Support.  You will take an initial three day course  called ‘Skills to Foster’ which is an introduction to all the main issues  involved in fostering.  If you are  approved as a foster carer, we ask you to undertake the TSDS (Training Support  and Development Standards) workbook for foster carers.  We hold regular courses on all kinds of  things that will be helpful to you – first aid, safe caring, drug awareness,  behaviour management, counselling skills – some of these courses are mandatory,  but all are useful and it’s important that all carers attend training, as it  really does help you in the fostering task.   Training is held in an informal and enjoyable way; it’s not like going  back to school; so even if you didn’t enjoy education as a young person  yourself, you are likely to enjoy this training.
How involved will my partner have to be?
        If you are  registered as foster carers as a couple, your partner will need to be fully  involved.  Although one partner may be  the primary foster carer, and perhaps the other partner may still work, both  partners are expected to attend training and support group meetings.  Fostering involves everyone in the household,  and everyone needs to feel committed to the decision to foster and be involved  in fostering as a family.
What support will I get from you?
        Although  the process of applying to become a foster carer and the day to day job of  caring for a child may feel rather daunting before you embark on your new  career, you will be helped and supported every step of the way.  There is a professional team of social  workers and an experienced team of foster carers at Hythe House who can help  you through any difficulties you may come across.  You will be allocated a supervising social  worker who will meet with you every month to check how your placement is going  and if you have any problems.  There are  support group meetings held every month where carers get together and can offer  a listening ear and advice in an informal setting.  You will receive excellent ongoing training  and we operate a 24 hour telephone support line should you need help or advice  out of hours.  
        Many of our  children and young people have suffered loss, or very unsettled, neglectful or  abusive childhoods.  Children requiring  additional therapeutic support are able to receive regular counselling and  therapy through our in-house therapists.   Counselling support is also available to our foster carers should you  need it. 
What checks will you carry out on me during  assessment?
        Because you  will be caring for children, there are many safety considerations and you will  be subject to a number of checks.  We  will carry out a home check to make sure that your home is safe and  suitable.  Everyone in your household  over the age of 18 will need to have a DBS check (formerly called a CRB or  police check), and you will also have to provide details of references, who we  will visit.  Your doctor will need to  certify that you are fit to foster.  An  indepth report, called a Form F, will be compiled about you, your family  history and everyone in your household.  This  process is carried out by an independent social worker.  Finally, your application will be considered  by an independent panel before you can be registered as a foster carer.
Am I allowed to discipline the child?
        Corporal  punishment is not an acceptable form of discipline in any circumstances – this  includes smacking, slapping and shaking.   There are many other effective and acceptable ways of disciplining  children and you will receive training and on-going advice about this.
Will I know anything about the child before  they come to stay?
        Ideally,  both your family and the child will know quite a lot about each other before a  placement starts and you may even have met.  You will always receive all the information  that we receive about the young person, as this is important to allow you to  decide if the placement would fit your family. Sometimes though, a placement  has to happen at short notice and it is more difficult to provide as much advance  information.   You will only be offered a  placement if there is a good match between your family and the child, and you  will have the opportunity to decline a placement if you feel it is not right  for your family circumstances.
Can I specify the age of the child I look  after?
        There may  be an age group that suits your family setup, for example if you have children  of your own.  Some carers specialise in  caring for teenagers, or for mothers with babies.  Most of the young people fostered by Hythe House  Support are between 10 – 18 years.   Younger children tend to be fostered through the local authority rather  than independent fostering agencies, although there are exceptions to  this.  Sometimes we are trying to keep a  family of brothers and sisters together, and so we also need foster carers who  can take more than one child , and of different ages.
Will I foster children with disabilities?
        We will  discuss with you whether you feel you could foster a child with a physical,  emotional or learning disability, and whether your home is suitable and safe  for a child with a disability.  Some  carers specialise in caring for children with special needs, others feel this  is not their area of ability.  Many  children will have had disrupted education and will need additional support in  this area.
What happens if things go wrong with the  placement or I can’t cope?
        We offer  our carers and fostered children support that is second to none to help make a  placement a success.  But you will need  to be realistic; many of the children we care for have suffered trauma, loss,  neglect or abuse.  This can manifest in  difficult or challenging behaviours and fostering can be a stressful job on  occasion.  You need to be resilient and  have what we call ‘stickability’ – the desire to support a young person even  during difficult times.  Sadly, sometimes  a placement does not work out, despite everyone’s best efforts.  In such a case, the young person will need to  be moved to an alternative placement, in a planned and constructive way.
Can I have a break from fostering to spend time  with my own family?
        Having a  break from any job is important.  We  offer up to 28 days’ paid respite, or holiday, which accrues while you have a  child in placement.  This means that you  can have a break, spend time with your family alone, or go on a family holiday.  When you book some respite time, the fostered  child goes to stay with another foster carer in the Hythe House family who  specialises in this area.  The children  very much enjoy the break too, and are taken on trips and activities.  
How long will a child stay with me?
        A child may  stay for a matter of weeks, or for several years.  You may be helping a family cope in an  emergency, or helping a young person prepare for independent living, which can  be very satisfying.
How many children can I foster?
        When you  are registered as a carer, your registration will specify how many children you  can foster.  This depends on how many  bedrooms you have available in your home.
What happens when a child leaves?
        Sometimes a  child returns to their birth family after quite a short period, perhaps if a  parent has been in hospital and is now well.   Sometimes the child might move to another fostering placement, or to  another locality.  Even if it is a  positive move, this can be an unsettling time for the child and sensitivity is  needed.  It can also be sad for the  foster family, who may be very attached to the child and will miss him or her.  We recognise that everyone may need  additional support at such times.
How much will I be paid?
        You will be  paid an allowance starting at £21,000 for each child in placement, rising to £24,000+  with experience.  This is paid monthly  into your bank account.
Will I have to pay tax and National Insurance?
        Usually no  tax or NI is payable, unless you foster more than three children, although  depending on your individual circumstances you may need to take specialist  advice on this, which we can arrange.
Will I be paid when I don’t have a child in  placement?
        No, the allowance  is only paid when you have a child in placement.  Therefore you need to plan your family  finances to take account of the possibility that there may be periods when you  do not have a placement.
Can I take a child on trips and holidays?
        You are encouraged  to take your fostered child on trips and on holidays, unless there is a legal  reason why they cannot leave the country or the local area.  These are wonderful experiences for young  people to share with your family and provide happy memories for young people  who may have had few experiences of this kind.
Where will the child go to school?
        Your  fostered child may continue to attend their usual school, or they may have  moved into the area from elsewhere and may need to be supported in starting at  a new school.  Some children will go to  local mainstream schools, others may need to attend a special school,  especially if they have missed a lot of education or have been excluded from  their last school.  Hythe House Support  owns and operates its own special secondary school, based on the Isle of  Sheppey.  This school takes only a few  pupils at a time, and can provide personalised and specialist support.  A minibus picks up and drops children back at  home every day.
If I already foster, can I transfer to Hythe  House Support?
        Yes you  can.  There is a protocol which needs to  be followed and care is required so that the needs of the fostered child(ren)  remain paramount.  If you are considering  changing agency, or moving from local authority fostering, you can contact us,  in confidence, for advice.
What if I have any other questions?
        Contact  us!  There is a lot to consider in  fostering, and if you have any queries, drop us an email at enquiries@hythehousesupport.co.uk, or give us a call during office  hours on 01795 438634.  We’ll be very  happy to help.